Parents, a gateway to paradise or hell?

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We have always heard since our childhood that parents are our gateway to paradise. And yes, that’s true but in my opinion its only one side of a coin. Not each and every parent is a gateway to paradise. Let me tell you how.

Allah had made some rules for us to follow in this world. Some of them are ofcourse obligations and others are left on our own rationale thinking and conscience. I am not touching the sensitive topic of obligations but I want to talk about the actions which are related to the people. As we all know that children don’t learn from mere words but actions of their parents. Parents are role models for their children. A daughter copies her mother and a son sees his father as his hero. What if the role model or the person, one is looking forward to, is corrupt. What example will those parents set who are frauds, liars, back biters, complexed ( whether Superiority or inferiority), indulge in immoral acts, corrupt, turbulent, mischievous, ungrateful, materialistic etc. By following the wrong direction, one can never end up reaching at a right place.

Allah had commanded us to obey our parents but obeying them by going against the laws of Allah was not commanded. People, now a days, do not consider lying, backbiting and many other minor sins as sins. In addition to these common sins, there are some acts which are not mentioned but are forbidden acts in light of Islamic principals. When parents after the marriage of their children interfere in their family matters, provoking the children against their spouses, not letting their children live their lives according to their own wishes, which finally results in divorce, are very common and prevailed acts in our society.

Yes, I agree that parents are always concerned about their children but every relation has its own status. If any act of the parents results in creating misunderstanding between the spouses then it is wrong on their side and they are answerable to Allah. If children, under their influence, do injustice with their spouses then it is the sunnah of their parents which is followed by the children. By this, the parents are paving the way towards hell for themselves and their children.

It is a common saying that if you love someone then set them free and they will definitely return to you so its time to set ones children free after they got married. Be happy with their happiness. So dear parents, You have gotten your share of love now its time for your children to explore new ways of loving someone else. If they need your suggestion or help in any matter, they will surely ask because you are their first refuge but if they don’t then its not right to become sad. Let them do mistakes and learn by themselves. Do not teach them to defraud others, lying, backbiting , ungratefulness, corruption etc by mending your own ways. Do not lead them towards hell because you are their way towards paradise.